We're Coccooning and What that means!

 There is a concept our family uses when an adopted or foster child comes into our home to help that child to quickly and hopefully effectively have a chance to bond with their new family called "Coccooning." Many people have been wondering just what that is and how that will actually look, and we have realized there is some confusion. So, here is just a quick glimpse of some of the things we will be doing and why. Just like you would do if you had just given birth to a brand new baby:
We closed our house down every time we adopted. We will have very limitted company for the first while. (except for family of course!) As much of the time as Lovely will allow we will wear her in a baby sling to hold her close and will hold her when she drinks her milk just as if she we were a newborn. She will sleep in a crib right beside our bed so that anytime she opens her eyes she sees we are STILL there! Jim will be home with the family for several weeks,Elijah too for some of the time. We won't be taking Lovely into the nursery at church, or having other people hug on hug on her,hold her,carry her,touch her hair,etc....and when she is hungry or has another physical need no one will be giving her anything (or meeting her physical needs) except the Mama and Papa!
BUT WHY? Some of you may be asking :-)
Children who have lived in an Orphanage for a long period of time (Lovely has now been there for half of her life-over 18 months!) get used to not knowing who will take care of them or if anyone will. Because of that they learn to ask for and need to accept care from whoever will give it.It is very important now that Lovely learn that her people she can ALWAYS depend on to care for her are her Papa and Mama. That circle of people will enlarge eventually as she becomes more secure but it is important that is stay very small at first.  Our priority when each of our children and foster children have come into our home and joined our family WAS TO MAKE A FAMILY! And that will be our priority now as well.
We know it may look/sound weird to some especially since Lovely is not a newborn baby, and we need for you to know right now that NOTHING we are doing is to keep you from her BUT everything we are doing IS in an attempt to help Lovely as best we can to adjust as quickly and lovingly as possible to her new life! Will this last forever, OH MY, Thank goodness NO! Is it important~SO important!
 Some nights we will wonder if sleep will ever come.  But, we are prepared for this....THIS time is what we have prayed for, waited for, begged God for these last TWO LONG YEARS! We have a good support system, and if you are reading this chances are YOU are part of that support! We would love for you to bring meals,love for you to keep praying, love for you to help with the other kids, and will let you help us!  We will be sure to ask for help when we need it and be sure to accept help when needed. Lovely has lived now more then half of her little life in an Orphanage, a very good Orphanage, but Institutional living nonetheless! And due to that NEEDS to see a family unit and needs to feel like SHE FITS into that Family unit! House chores will take a back seat as they always have when a new child enters our home! We WILL laugh as much as possible. We will try hard to  keep our sense of humor.  We will choose to let the little things go and fight the bigger more important battles.  We will not try to fix all the issues we see in  one day!
We will limit how big Lovely's world is for a time. We will take this time to  invest in her AND our boys!!!! And encourage bonding behaviors in all of them.
This IS a very exciting time for all of us, and we KNOW it is for you too!!! We are SO glad to have you along for the ride with us, and THANK-YOU so much for understanding that this is ALL so worth it in the making of a secure, happy, stable little person we ALL love so much!
Thank-you so much! Jim, Shelly,Elijah,Micah, AND Lovely