I Have had this blog post tossing around in my head all day, but have not had the tear free time right now to post it about theses things....
That for every child who will join our homes through adoption it is out of EXTREME loss, death, pain, you name it-
My/Our gain comes at such incredible cost!
I guess the reality that hits me at times like this is that without the loss, extreme loss of another AND of my child's I would be as Haiti calls me "Childless."
And, I feel it is really important to remember that ALL of my children have Birth Families they may or may not ever know. Having an older adopted son, and an adult adopted Son and Daughter it has prompted many conversations and I can tell you that loss is present with them always. God heals, restores, and we have seen that! But coming from my own Mother dying when I was six I know it does always stay with you.
Guess bottom line on a day such as today is I want to make sure I NEVER lose sight of my gain, my joy came out of their loss and despair. (even the Mom's/Dad's in this country whose children were removed and then adopted....)
Just a reality that Adoption is a Beautiful, Amazing, But Complicated thing.
Ok, there- guess I just wrote my Blog post after all~
May we Never forget
Shelly
I am a birth mom and I have to add that with the decision to make an adoption plan, I gained additional "family" and a tremendous amount of love that continues to sustain me (23 years later)when I lose sight of the fact that I made the best decision possible for another life/person. Coming (back) to faith, I now understand that He had a plan for her AND me - that involved that difficult path taken so long ago. The "loss" doesn't fade, it turns into something else - an opportunity to be filled with enormous gratitude.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I appreciate so much you sharing that! We have been blessed to have a relationship with more then one of our child's Birthmom's at least and it is really a special thing for us and more so for a child! Thank-you so much for your gift of love for your child!
ReplyDeleteShelly~Lovely's Mama
Well said!
ReplyDeleteSuch a good reminder. Not at all negating the child's pain and loss, but how wonderful that God allows us to come alongside of our children to walk through the pain with them... when otherwise they would have to do it alone. Sometimes I have to remind myself that their pain would have been there regardless if I had adopted my girls or not... otherwise I can get swallowed up in it.
ReplyDeleteHeather... what a beautiful comment - it brought me to tears! We have a lovely relationship with our daughter's birth mom, and when I feel broken hearted at my daughter's losses, she is the one who blesses me and encourages me... and tells me how we are her "angels". Praying that my daughters will also some day allow their loss to be turned into gratitude. God bless you!