..Some days we're so busy that the wait is an after thought but some days (and unfortunately right now, most days) the wait feels like a ton of bricks weighing down our hearts.
It's hard to explain and comprehend if you have never gone through an adoption but the emotional baggage that comes with the experience is surreal. Some days we feel like children playing house and dreaming up a pretend scenario of having this beautiful child because the possibility of it becoming a reality feels so very distant. Other days, we're painfully reminded of the reality of our situation by anxiety filled days and the unpleasant unrest in our souls.
We pray that she will be home to us soon, we know she is waiting for us. We have been waiting 19 months now, and in a few weeks it will be one full year since Jim spent his amazing weekend with Lovely. The good news is that 19 months are behind us, the bad news is we're unsure when our laboring will cease. There is no doubt in our minds that all of the waiting and uncertainty will be 100% worth it in the end but for now the roller coaster is moving so fast, we can only see what is right in front of us, not the end of the ride, although we trust that the ending will be beautiful!
For today we have to hold onto the thankful truth that at least friends of ours are loving on her. While at the same time it breaks our hearts that it is not our arms she is cuddled up in, our eyes she smiles up at. Someone said this week to be thankful we are not an elephant who is pregnant for 22 months, sadly it will be at least that long before she really does get to come join us and be HOME.
Waiting is still so not my thing, just gotta say that!
I was very torn on those photos/video because as much as I anxiously anticipate new photos, it does always hurt a little to see someone else holding my babies! There is always that cry of "why not me, Lord!" In the end, I hoped you, like me, would still want those moments captured for the future. I hope to give me sons a little sense of their life before finally coming home! Hugs and prayers.
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